(Here she goes with the hot beverage report again.) (God, I can't believe I've waited a whole month for this. I hate this website!)

We have an electric tea kettle at work. I want to take it on an infomercial and praise its glory from QVC to shining QVC. Times were dark before the electric tea kettle came into my life. I had to heat water up in a plastic bowl in the microwave, which, in addition to maybe probably giving me cancer, made my tea taste like whatever food the secretary had for lunch. Earl Grey and Chef Boyardee? Not a winning combination. Also, the water was never hot enough.

Now that we have the electric tea kettle, my water is hot as the devil's heart burn and pure as heaven's spring. The only problem is, I am sometimes too stupid for hot water. In my excitement for tea, I underestimate the necessary cooling period (four to seven ice ages) and scald my entire esophageal tract. This week alone I burned my mouth twice, once so badly I was moved to look up home remedies on the Internet, even though I knew better. Here is what I discovered on a forum entitled "burnt tongue."

Guest: hello, i drink tea, and i burnt my tongue on hot tea and had more after not realizing my tongue would be extra sensitive and burnt it more! and everytime i have tea i always try it too early and my tongue hurts more and it's been 5 days my tongue is hurting so badly how can i make the pain go away? [Though our stories are similar, I swear did not post this. I do sympathize with Guest, however.]

Guest: Sprinkle sugar on it. [Wait, same Guest or different Guest?]

Guest: sugar didnt work [Different Guest. Gotta be. Maybe. I hope.]

Guest: i burnt my tongue like u did and then had more tea too not knowing that is would make it worse....i'm trying sucking on ice [Oh boy.]

thpwtsgirl1979: Hi, I also drink tea, and I love soup. Two things that can burn your tongue. Today is Monday, and on Friday I had some really hot soup and burned my tongue. Then I kept burning it on various things throughout the weekend. [On various things? Like, your oven rack? I really need to get off this message board.]

In conclusion, people who seek remedies for "burnt tongue" on a message board are in need of more help than any amount of ice cubes can provide, myself included. Now I am going to attempt to drink some tea that I brewed at 3:00 yesterday afternoon. I have some sugar on hand in case things get ugly.

Posted by sarah at 4:44 PM /